jboyles

I find time for a lot of extra things…. The extra serving, calories, TV shows or computer work.  So how do I not have enough time for things I really need to be doing?  So here I am on buddyslim again. trying one last time to strive for the things I need.  To loose weight.  I no longer have a drive for that cosmetic retouching that I allways thought I needed, nope. I found the man of my dreams :)  but now it’s a battle to survive.  Daily I want to stop for that 99cent big mac or Jr. whopper or whatever the craving may be at that moment.  But today is a new day, still early in the year.  So here we go world… One last valiant effort!

For years I have struggled with my self esteem… or lack there of.  Even when I was smaller my self esteem suffered.  I had a lot going for me, I was a champion equestrian, star basketball player and a great student.  I just had the usual teen worries of what others thought.  Than I had the first bad horse back riding accident.  I was unable to ride or play basketball, my friends were too busy doing the activities I could no longer do.  So I found a new friend… Little Debbie LOL.  By the time I was leaving highschool I was well over 300 pounds.

 A year or so later I decided enough was enough.  I lost over 140 pounds and returned to riding.  A year or so later I had another accident, this was a doozy! I was told I would never ride again.  On the weight came once again.  I only allowed myself to go up to 270 and than began to have some serious health concerns.  So once again I started to loose weight.  I got down to 240 pounds, met my wonderful husband.

Well the self esteem issues are begining to pile on. So now it’s time to get the weight off! There is someone that has poked their head into my perfect world, and I feel threatened.  It’s silly really, but it’s the truth and I can’t help it…. so I need to make myself more assured that I not only deserve my husband but also that he is happy with me!  So now starts a new journey. For Me…. I am a strong, beautiful, vital, extraordinary woman and it’s time to peel the fat off of her!